


You So Love Me...

by Sevenwildwaysup



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti-Michael, Love, M/M, Passion, Porn, Romance, You So Love Me...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:59:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3339521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevenwildwaysup/pseuds/Sevenwildwaysup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of separation, one phone call ends all the longing and regret of the past decade…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Valentine’s Day to Remember...

Title: You So Love Me…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 6685  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Angst, Love, Passion, Anti-Michael…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
EKG-Club February Challenge – You So Love Me…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Summary: After years of separation, one phone call ends all the longing and regret of the past decade…

**You So Love Me...**

Chapter One ~ A Valentine’s Day to Remember... 

Lost and Alone…

Part One

Justin’s POV

I was up late last night. I thought that maybe if I stayed up all night, somehow I’d end up sleeping all the way through today. I can’t help remembering how romantic I thought it was; just the idea of Brian and me getting married on Valentine’s Day. Now this time of year is always sad for me, but somehow this year is the worst. Seeing everyone I know celebrating their love with their partners makes me feel hopeless, alone, and so damn lonely. My heart is filled with so many regrets, so many memories. So many what ifs? What if I had done things differently? What if I had only known then, what I know now? If I had only realized that was it, that there wasn’t going to be a second chance. If I’d only known that I’d never be able to love him again, or to feel loved. 

But back then I just assumed that everything would work out, I was so young and so naïve. Now I’m here, unable to change the past, and unable to move forward. I’m stuck in limbo. I feel like I sold my soul for fame and fortune, and the worst part is I never really wanted those things. Most days I only allow myself to wallow in self-pity when I go to bed. There’s just something about being alone in bed, in the dark. I miss him so desperately. I can still feel his arms around me, spooning me from behind. His breath on my neck, making all the little hairs stand up, longing for his touch. I can’t help wondering if my heart will ever heal. 

I wake to the phone ringing, and pray for it to stop. There’s no one I want to hear from today. But they just keep calling back, over and over again. I finally pull myself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. My head is pounding from all the alcohol still sloughing around my brain. I should have known better. Now I’m hung over, depressed and extremely melancholy. It’s eight o’clock in the fucking morning, and whoever is calling is about to get an ear full of one angry blond. I have no patience for anyone intruding on my private day of mourning. Because I died this day ten years ago, but I’m still breathing.

I answer the phone, angrily shouting, “YES! What is it?”

“Mr. Taylor?”

The voice sounds young, and hesitant, full of concern and worry.

“Yes…”

He’s nervous, wondering if he’s doing the right thing. But all he knows it that he has to do something, anything to help his father. “Aaaaah… You probably don’t remember me, and I don’t really remember you. But I found your phone number under a bunch of old photographs in the desk drawer and I thought maybe it might still be current. It was at the bottom of the page in the address book, with about a dozen previous address and phone numbers crossed out above it.”

He knows he’s rambling, but he didn’t know where else to start…

“Oh?”

“I… I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s just that I didn’t know who else to call. There really isn’t anyone else who will talk with me about it. They never would. I’d ask about you and they’d always clam up, or act like I was talking about the end of the world. The thing is… It’s always been bad, every year, this day, the anniversary. But this year it’s worse, and I don’t know what to do. I’m really worried about him, and I’m scared and I’m all alone.”

“I guess I should back up a little. It all started when my parents decided to split up for the last time, this time it was permanent. They were dividing up all their things and when they got to the painting you gave them… Well… All hell broke loose, everyone was angry, and shouting, horrible things were said to each other. Things that to this day no one is willing to forgive each other for. They haven’t spoken to one another since that day, and I somehow feel like it’s all my fault.”

Justin’s compassionate for the lost boy on the other end of the phone. “You need to know that it’s not your fault if your mom and dad haven’t spoken, that’s between them. You can’t blame yourself, nor can you fix it. It’s a grown-up thing, they have to work out their own problems. You shouldn’t feel guilty because they divorced, although I understand you wanting to blame yourself. I did that myself when my parents divorced.”

“But it’s not just my mom’s. I understand them being bitter and resentful, they should have split up long ago. But it’s my dad, he’s always been so strong, so invincible. He’s my hero. But now he’s different, and I don’t know how to help him. It’s like something broke in him that afternoon. You see, he was coming to pick me up. I was going to go live with him. He was just granted permanent custody of me, and for the first time we were really going to be part of each other’s lives. I thought that when I answered the door, that with him being there it would have been enough. That they would have stopped all the shouting and arguing between themselves. But it wasn’t, it was just the opposite. And it was the first time I’ve ever seen him this upset. I mean, really angry.”

“I’m sorry. Who is this?”

“My name’s Gus. Gus Marcus-Peterson. I mean, it used to be. I now use Kinney. It’s Gus Kinney. I don’t know if you remember my dad, Brian?”

“Gus… Yes, yes, of course I remember him. I could never forget Brian…”

Justin’s heart races, as visions of Brian flood his mind, and a worried Gus fretting about him impacts his reality. He stands and starts pacing, finally ending up in the kitchen making coffee. God, he needs coffee bad. His head is still pounding and his heart now has a whole different kind of ache inside. One that’s going out to a scared teenage boy, a boy he once loved like he was his own son.

Gus continues. “My mom was saying that she should have the painting that you gave them. That you had finally become the next Picasso and it was all because of her. That you never would have gone to New York if she hadn’t pushed you to go, and now you had finally become a great artist. That’s when it happened. It was like a madman had taken over my dad. I’ve never seen him like that. He started screaming at her, saying that it was all her fault. That she ruined his life, taking away the only man he ever loved. The only man he would ever love. She had no right to interfere in his relationship like that! He shouted at her, that he hated her for what she did. That the day you two were supposed to get married, ended up being the day you left him. The day you went to New York and never looked back. You see, it was exactly ten years ago today.”

Justin didn’t need to be reminded of what day it was, he was very much aware of it. But he wasn’t aware that Brian still loved him, had never stopped loving him. He’s filled with remorse and joy all at the same time. Because maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t lost everything. Maybe they still had a chance.

“Yesterday was the worst. We had lunch at the Liberty diner with uncle Mikey. He was droning on about some comic book and my dad wasn’t paying any attention to him, so he starts getting pissed. Then he asks my dad where he’s been. That he’s stopped by the loft a few times but my dad is never home.”

Brian mentions that we moved out into the country, into a big house and how beautiful it is. Michael’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. He looks shocked and says, “You didn’t? I can’t believe you keep that house. Why would you?”

My dad looks so sad. I’ve never seen him look like that before. He not a very emotional man, and seeing him so miserable really shook me. He finally said, “Just in case he might decide to come home someday. Besides, it isn’t my house. I can’t sell it. I put the deed in his name when I bought it for him.”

Now Michael’s furious. He yells, “He’s never coming home. He is never coming back to you! Why are you still pining for the stupid twink? You never should have even picked him up off the cold cement floor. You should have left him there to die!”

“I thought my dad was going to pummel him into the ground, but he just glared at him and then he stormed out of the diner. He didn’t say a thing to me on the drive home, not a single word. When we got home he told me to get myself something to eat before I went to bed, and that he didn’t want to be disturbed the rest of the night. I couldn’t help being concerned about him, but I did what he said. I read books and played video games until I went to bed, finally falling asleep after laying awake for hours, worrying about him.”

“Then in the middle of the night I hear him, he has been drinking. I get up to check on him, but I stay out of sight. I can smell the marijuana smoke in the air, and he has a ring of keys to the rooms I’m not allowed to enter. The house is really big, so I never questioned him about it. I know he had it redesigned and furnished as a surprise for you before the wedding. The kitchen was remodeled with state-of-the-art appliances, and granite countertops, and he turned the sunroom in the back of the house into an art studio for you. The master bedroom has a big beautiful fireplace, and a huge bed. He renovated the bath, with a big glass shower, and even installed a whirlpool bathtub, because he knew you loved to take baths.”

“So I stood out of sight as he entered your studio. He stood looking out the huge floor-to-ceiling windows as the moon cast shadows on him in the dark. He walked around, running his fingertips over all the surfaces and the big drawing table. Then he opened up the cabinets that were filled with hundreds of jars of paints, brushes and canvases in every size imaginable. After a while he locked it back up tight, as if it was a secret room full of hidden treasures. Next he went in the master bedroom. I was fascinated by the fact that it was exactly as he had arranged it for your wedding night. On the fireplace mantel were lots and lots of candles and a huge bouquet of roses. There were probably a few dozen, all perfectly shaped rosebuds, now dried and brittle with time. On the bed there were also hundreds of dried rose petals, sprinkled across a beautiful satin duvet, and on the bedside table was a silver champagne bucket, still holding a bottle of champagne.”

“He picked up a framed photograph of the two of you from the mantel. You’re both smiling and you look so happy. I’ve never seen him smile like that in my whole life, but I have seen the photo before. My mom has a copy of it, or one similar to it. She once told me it was taken at your engagement party. Just a week before your rehearsal dinner, and that’s when you decided to call off the wedding. I’ve never seen my father cry before. But last night, holding the picture, he went down on his knees and cried for a long time.” 

“I know I shouldn’t have spied on him like that, but I was so worried about him. He took a small velvet box out of his pocket, and ran his fingers across the cold platinum. He placed one of the rings on his finger, and looked at it like it held all the magical powers in the world. His tears started again, and I felt like I was intruding. So I left him there, kneeling in the middle of the most romantic bedroom I’ve ever seen. It was like a time capsule, capturing a moment in time that never happened.”

Gus pauses because he can hear Justin crying, neither one of them say anything for a long time. Finally Justin clears his throat. “How’s your father now? Is he better than last night?”

“I don’t know, it’s hard to say. He was up most of the night drinking. He finally passed out in his bedroom about an hour ago, just before I started searching through his desk, looking for your phone number.”

“Gus, do you have some place you can spend the night?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for my dad to be alone.”

“I know, and he won’t be… I’m coming home.”

Gus sighs in relief. If he had known it would have been this easy, he would have called Justin six months ago, when he first came to live with Brian. 

“I guess I could stay at my friend Casey’s. I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay with Grandma Deb. She’d end up asking too many questions, and probably get uncle Mikey involved.”

“I totally agree. I’m hoping I can ask you to do a few things for me?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Do you know where that key ring is now?”

“Yeah, it’s in the old wooden box in my dad’s desk, along with all those pictures, the address book, your wedding invitation and the rings. I found the box this morning when I was searching for your phone number.”

“Thank you for that. You have no idea how much it means to me that you called.”

“I think maybe I do…”

“I’m so grateful. Now I’m going to have some things delivered to the house. If you could put the food in the fridge, and maybe clear away the old roses and rose petals. I’d appreciate it if you could vacuum and dust the bedroom, and change the sheets. I’ll be having new bedding delivered, along with some champagne and some other special things for tonight. Gus, please try to not let on to your father what’s going on, if he should wake up.”

“No problem, but I doubt he’ll be getting up. I’m pretty sure he’s out for the count. Do you want me to leave the keys in the kitchen for you, and maybe your wedding rings? ” Gus says, hoping that Justin want the same thing as his dad.

“Yes, thank you, and Gus, I really appreciate that you called me. I’m going to catch the next flight out of New York, so I hope to be there by early afternoon. I can’t wait to see you, again…”

 

I’m Coming Home…

Part Two

Brian woke to find a couple of bottles of water and a bottle of aspirin sitting on the nightstand. He was never more grateful for Gus, they had grown close in the last six months. He can’t seem to remember what his life was like before, except that he was alone and lonely. He rarely drank or smoked pot anymore, and he just hopes that Gus will understand that the last couple of days have been really hard for him. He’s trying so hard to be a good father. A patient and understanding father, the father he never had. His head is pounding and he’s dehydrated. He drinks a bottle of water and takes six aspirin, praying that it will relieve his hangover. After taking a piss, he climbs back into bed hoping that the next time he wakes up he will feel better, and that Gus will understand when he tries to explain his behavior last night. 

When he woke up again the sun was setting, casting golden shadows across the bedroom. The aspirin worked wonders, he’s feeling much better. His headache is gone and he’s actually hungry. Sitting up in bed he swears he smells Jambalaya cooking in the kitchen, but he also knows that Gus can’t cook any better than he can. He thinks it must be his imagination left over from his dreams, as he often dreams of Justin and the life they might have had together. It’s all he has left, and he treasures those moments when his mind escapes and lets him fantasize about the man who will always hold a place in his heart. 

He wonders what Justin would think of his life now, as he’s changed so much over the last decade. He’s no longer the stud of Liberty Avenue; he hasn’t gone dancing at Babylon or any other club in what seems like years. He’s become a true workaholic, even more so than he was before. Now he drops Gus off at school early in the morning, and works late into the evening in his home office. But he’s very attentive to Gus’s needs, coaching his soccer team and never missing a game. He’s supportive of Gus’s ambitions and even agreed for him to apply to the School for the Creative Arts. He wants to be an actor, something that Melanie and Lindsay both think is foolish and discourage. But Brian encourages him, telling Gus he can do anything he wants. Knowing that he’ll figure it out, and at least he will have tried, instead of always wondering if he could make it. 

He celebrated Gus being accepted for the fall term, by taking him on a long vacation last summer out west. It was just what they both needed to get away, and it helped bond father and son in ways neither of them expected. He’s even supportive of every gig that Gus’s rock band plays at, mostly school dances and birthday parties. He just hopes that they still have a few years together before Gus reaches that age when he won’t want anything to do with his father. He’s missed so much of Gus’s childhood, with him living in Canada. Now he finally has a real chance at being a father, he just hopes he doesn’t fuck it up. He knows that he can’t allow his behavior last night to ever happen again. The last thing he wants is for Gus to hear about all his wild days as a teenager, or his nights prowling Liberty Avenue, cruising for guys. Although he knows he’ll have to talk about his past at some point, he just hopes that Gus won’t be too ashamed of him, and his past lifestyle.

He jumps in the shower and lets the warm water beat down on his aching muscles, finally bringing him back to life. After dressing in his faded blue jeans and black t-shirt, he starts down the hallway. It’s quiet in the house, but someone is definitely cooking in the kitchen. The light under the door to the master bedroom catches his eye, and he wonders if he forgot to turn it off last night. He hesitates outside the door. Something’s different and he’s almost afraid to look inside. He feels like he’s crazy. The whole house feels different to him, but different in a positive way.

He listens outside the bedroom door but hears nothing. He can’t stop himself from reaching out and trying the doorknob. His anger starts to rise as the doorknob turns, he’s made it very clear to Gus that he isn’t allowed into the master bedroom, or the studio. He knows Gus doesn’t understand why, but he’s never questioned him about it either. After all, the house is huge, and there are plenty of rooms, so it shouldn’t really be a problem. But he also understands kids, and how curious Gus might be after being told he can’t do something. 

He stands there in the doorway. He can’t really believe his eyes, and he thinks he must still be drunk. There’s fresh roses on the mantel, in a variety of pale violet and deep purple, also rose petals strewn across the bed. The duvet is different too, a deep purple, almost majestic looking. He distinctly remembers thinking last night how strange it was, that never having been used, the other duvet had faded from a burgundy to a mauve color after the ten years of sunlight. There’s ice and a bottle in the champagne bucket, but it’s a different vintage than the one he placed there a decade ago. He runs his hand through his hair, not understanding what’s going on. He must be losing his mind, maybe it’s all the drugs he did in his youth. His breathing becomes erratic as he backs out of the room, closing the door. He needs to sit down, he has no idea what’s going on.

His nose is once again assaulted by the smell of Jambalaya. He slowly goes down the grand staircase, unsure of what he’ll find. He stands at the bottom of the stairs, hypnotized by the crackling fire in the fireplace. He isn’t sure he’s not hallucinating, but he can’t seem to pull his eyes away from Justin. He looks so beautiful, his eyes are sparkling and the highlights in his hair shining. They just stare at each other, speechless. His lip trembles as he tries to speak, his voice cracks. He’s actually nervous. He whispers, “You’re not real. This isn’t really happening.”

Justin stands, never taking his eyes off him. Brian looks so handsome, even better than he imagined after all these years. He walks towards him, smiling broadly. He watches his every move, hoping to be able to still read him like he could so many years ago. Brian isn’t convinced that what he sees is really happening, but he’s decided to just let it play out. He reaches out to run his hand through Justin’s long golden locks, sure that illusion will disappear as soon as he touches him. A look of confusion comes over his face when he feels Justin kiss his hand, as he runs it down the side of his face. 

“Justin?”

“Brian…”

Neither one knows what to say, then he hears Brian say, “You’re late.”

Their lips meet, and their arms pull each other closer. The fire that had dwindled over the years ignites again, blazing through them. They’re overcome with passion as they become entangled in one another. Soon they’re lying in front of the fireplace, reminiscent of the first time they came to the house, the day Brian had proposed to him. They break for air, still mesmerized by each other’s presence, reading all the unspoken love they feel for one another in each other’s eyes.

Justin whispers, “I’ve missed you.”

Still unsure if what’s happening is real or an illusion, Brian nods, never having been good with words or romantic gestures. So Justin continues, “I love you, Brian. I always have, and I always will. Please forgive me for letting us slip away from each other.”

“No, it was my fault. I stopped answering your phone calls and emails. I didn’t want to stand in your way. I knew it was just a matter of time before you met someone new. Someone you could build a life with, someone so much better than me.”

“But I didn’t. I never met anyone who could take your place. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I should have known. I should have seen it coming. You’ve always pushed me away when you thought it was for my own good.”

“You needed your independence. You had a new life and I didn’t fit into it.”

“That’s total bullshit! But let’s not argue. I’m ready to come home, if you’ll still have me.”

Looking deeply into Brian’s eyes, he see his love reflected there. As tears start to run down his face, Justin reaches up and wipes them away. Sitting up, he takes Brian’s hand, helping him stand, walking him up the stairs to their long-awaited bedroom. 

“You know I’m older now. I’m not the same man I was when you left. I’m forty-five now.”

“That’s okay, you’ll always be young and beautiful to me. Besides there’s always Viagra and penile implants.”

Brian’s swats him on the ass, as Justin takes off, running up the stairs. “I’m not that old, you twat!”

“Prove it, old man!”

“Come here, you little twink!”

“I’m not a twink anymore.”

“You’ll always be my twink. I love you, Justin. I love you so much, and I’ve missed you. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, missed us.”

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. You’re not the only one, you know…”

“How did know? Know that I was here, at the house?”

“Your son called me, he is very worried about you.”

“Our son. You always were more of a father to him.”

“Okay, our son. I like the sound of that.”

“Speaking of our son, he’ll probably be home soon. I have no idea where he is.”

“No, he won’t. He’s spending the night at Casey’s. I dropped him off a couple of hours ago.”

“So we have the whole house to ourselves?”

“Yep, so you better take some of that Viagra, stud.”

“You really do want to be spanked, don’t you?”

“More than you can imagine.”

Brian reaches down and picks Justin up, carrying him over the threshold into the master bedroom. The gesture is so symbolic to both of them. Still carrying Justin he leans forward and captures his lips in his. The kiss is passionate and emotional, allowing them both to express all the longing and desire they’ve both suppressed for years. Their lips part but their eyes haven’t moved. Justin’s smiling brightly just like old times, and it fills Brian’s heart with hope. 

“Let’s light the fireplace. I can’t believe you had one installed.”

“I hoped you’d like it.”

“I do… I do, Brian…”

Brian lights the fire, while Justin lights all the candles on the mantel. It truly is the most romantic bedroom Justin’s ever seen. 

“Let’s open the champagne. I want to toast to our future.”

Brian hands Justin the champagne flutes, and starts to open the bottle. He grins back at Justin, doing that thing he always did, pulling his lips into his mouth. After filling their glasses, they sit in front of the fire and clink their flutes together. 

“To us and our future.”

Justin’s smile is back. He’s so happy. He never thought that he’d have Brian back in his life again. If someone had asked him twenty-four hours ago, he would have bet everything he owned against the odds of ever seeing Brian again. He distinctly remembers talking with Michael after Brian refused to answer any of his calls or emails. Michael told him that Brian said it was over for him. He just didn’t know how to tell Justin. 

It had crushed Justin, completely devastated him. But he also thought that it was just like Brian to push him away like that. He had been angry and hurt, so he stopped trying. He now knows he should have come home and confronted Brian about it. How could he have just accepted it, after everything they had been through? But he was foolish, so young and naïve. So now here they are a decade later, finally together again. It feels like time has stood still, it feels so right.

Brian sets the bottle back into the silver champagne bucket and his eyes focus on the small velvet box sitting next to it.

“Justin…”

Justin looks up at him, into his eyes, reading his thoughts, and says, “Yes.”

Brian stares into his eyes, then nods. “Yes? Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Brian bites his lip again as he kneels down in front of Justin, opening up the box. They both look at the rings they picked out together so long ago. Taking Justin’s ring out of the box, Brian says, “Justin, do you promise to never leave me again?”

“I do.” 

Brian takes his left hand and slides the ring on his finger.

Justin takes the ring box from him, removing Brian’s ring. “Brian, do you promise to never push me away again?”

“I do.”

Justin takes Brian’s left hand and slides his ring on his finger.

That was it. They finally found their way back to one another, and now they’ve finally made that commitment they’ve both been longing for, for so long.

Justin raises his glass. “Together forever.”

Brian smiles, as he has never felt this happy before. He raises his glass and clinks it with Justin’s. “Until death do us part.”

Brian pushes Justin down onto the rug, placing kisses all over his face, licking his neck and behind his ears. Justin wiggles, feeling ticklish from Brian’s touch. He’s missed this, missed them. Laying here with Brian is bringing back so many memories. He still feels like the young schoolboy, yet he’s now a grown man. Part of him thinks maybe the separation was good in one respect; he’s now Brian’s equal, and he’s completed his education. He’s a well-known artist, not only on the New York art scene, but he’s been featured in several art shows in Europe. He’s even shown his paintings in Japan.

But he’s been lonely. Sure, there have been other men, but none he wanted to share his life with. Being here with Brian has reawakened a part of him that he had locked away. A part of him he had banished to only live in his memories, and be reflected upon in his art. He never expected to feel this alive, or loved again, especially with Brian. His mind is flooded with these thoughts as Brian kisses his lips and strokes his hair. He feels Brian reach up, wiping away tears. He didn’t realize he was crying. “Brian…”

“Don’t cry, Sunshine. Everything’s going to be fine now that you’re home, here with me.”

“I love you, Brian. I’m just so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened. I was so sure I’d never see you again.”

“I know. Me too… It’s hard to believe you’re right here. I’ve wanted this for so long. It’s almost like a dream. But if it is, I never want to wake up.”

“I guess we’re going to have to do something really special for Gus.”

“Yeah, he’s a great kid. I still can’t believe he called you. He has more guts than I do. I missed you so much, but I was afraid to contact you.”

“I know. Me too… I thought that too much time had passed. I thought that you wouldn’t want me.”

“God! We really are totally fucked up.”

“Make love to me, Brian. I need to feel you. I need to feel you deep inside of me, then I’ll know I’m really home.”

Brian kisses him one more time and then he motions for Justin to raise his arms as he pulls off his royal blue cashmere sweater. He pulls his own t-shirt off. Standing up, he helps Justin to his feet, then shimmies out of his pants. He pulls Justin to him by his belt, and holds him close. His hands naturally run down Justin’s back, and come to rest on his ass, squeezing his round globes.

“You’ve always had a great ass.”

Justin moans, loving the feel of Brian’s hands. Brian makes quick work of his buckle and zipper and soon his pants have puddled at his feet. Brian can’t help letting his eyes drift up and down Justin’s body. He’s no longer that teenage kid. He’s a man, but he still has a slight build and he’s thin, maybe a little too thin. His chest and legs aren’t hairy in the least, just covered with soft blond peach fuzz. His muscles are firm and taut, but he’s not muscular in any way. He’s still Brian’s twink, and he still fits perfectly in his arms. Thank goodness some things never change.

Brian walks him backwards to the bed, becoming more aggressive as he pushes Justin down onto the mattress. He climbs up his body like a cat, then hovers above him, ready to pounce. Justin can’t help but watch Brian’s every move. He’s still Brian, he’s still beautiful. His body is well toned, and his muscles are firm. Justin thinks he actually looks more beautiful than he remembers. His hair is still a deep auburn, but now it has silver flecks that just seem to make him look even more distinguished. 

They’re both drinking in each other’s bodies as their arousal and desire for one another floods their senses.

“God, Justin, you’re still so damn beautiful…”

“Come here, stud.”

Justin reaches for him as their lips meet again. Things become slightly more frantic as their need to be with one another increases. Hands are roaming over each other, fingertips running across their skin, increasing their craving to touch each other everywhere. They’ve missed each other desperately for so long. Both are breathing heavy, as their hearts race, then Brian pulls back and smirks. 

“I don’t have any condoms here. I mean, the ones in the nightstand are ten years old.”

Justin raises his eyebrows. “I don’t have any with me either. I do at home, but the truth is I haven’t really been with anyone for a while.”

“Really? How long?”

Justin blushes. “A long time…”

“I have some at the loft, but I don’t bring tricks here.”

“Never?”

“Never. I’m not the slut I used to be. I don’t really trick anymore. I’m not looking for someone to share my life, or at least I wasn’t. The truth is, it’s usually by arrangement. ”

“Arrangement?”

“I have very specific needs…”

“What does that mean?”

“Justin, do I really have to say it? Let’s just say it’s been a while for me, too.”

They just stare at each other for a few minutes, than Brian asks, “So how long since you’ve been tested?”

“Just last month. And you?”

“I had a physical a few weeks ago. I’m clean.”

Justin smiles. “Me too. You do have lube, don’t you?”

“Yes, smartass! I’ll be right back.”

Justin can’t help smiling. Not only does he have Brian again, but he’s going to have all of him. Just like Brian said, Tell death do us part… 

Once Brian returns things progress fast. Their kisses are even more passionate, and their need for each other is almost overwhelming. Justin’s moaning, as Brian now has him flipped over on his stomach as his tongue swivels and dips into his rosebud. Brian always did rim the best of anyone Justin’s ever been with. Soon the cool gel coats his opening as Brian works his fingers into him.

“Christ, Justin, you’re so fucking tight.”

“Yeah, go easy. It’s been a while.”

“How long?”

“Since the last time we were together.”

“Really?”

“Brian, you’re the only one I’ve ever bottomed for.”

Brian’s astounded by this information, but he’s also extremely happy as he thinks ‘mine, all mine’. He takes his time and prepares Justin, slowly opening him up, loving all the little sounds he’s making. Justin’s beyond excited. He can’t help himself, as he ruts against the sheets, in anticipation of Brian’s next move. 

“Hey, don’t cum yet, little boy… I want to watch you quake with pleasure.” 

“Then hurry up, I really need to cum.”

Brian slaps his ass, flips him over on his back, and swiftly pulls his legs up onto his shoulders. Their eyes lock on one another, watching each other’s expressions. Brian slowly enters him, gently slipping deep into him. Justin moans again, he’s in heaven. Brian has always known just how to please him, and tonight’s no different. Brian leans down and captures his lips, kissing him. He starts a steady pace. It’s an incredible feeling as Brian glides in and out of him. The sensations are so much more intense, as they feel each other so distinctly, flesh against flesh. 

Brian’s the only man Justin has ever wanted this with, and he’s having a hard time comprehending that it’s actually happening right now. Their kisses become more passionate as their senses are overwhelmed. Brian’s rhythm increases, sparky waves of pleasure spiraling through both of them. Brian’s truly thrusting now, hitting Justin’s prostate head on. It only takes a few more strong plunges, until Justin’s legs tingle as his orgasm pulsates through him. He cries out Brian’s name over and over again, as he falls over the edge. Now he truly feels like he’s home, back where he belongs. He’s missed this so much and he can’t believe that he survived without it.

Brian thrusts several more times, and then he feels Justin’s tight walls grasp and release him, triggering his orgasm. It’s the most intense sensation he has ever felt, he never thought it could feel so good. But then again this is Justin, and Justin has always been the best he’s ever had. Looking deeply into each other eyes as the final waves of pleasure wash over them, Brian softly whispers, “I love you, Justin.”

Justin smiles as his mind remembers their first time together, knowing that Brian also softly whispered, ‘I love you’ to him as he came. But this time there’s no question. Brian has no problem declaring his love for his blond. 

“Welcome home, Sunshine… I’ve missed you so much…”

“I love you too, Brian.”

They lie in each other’s arms, finally truly happy and content with their lives, wishing it hadn’t taken them so long to find one another again.

“Brian? If you were still in love with me, then why didn’t you contact me? Gus said that he found your address book, and it was full of all my previous addresses and phone numbers. If you knew where I was, why did you stay away?”

“I guess it’s because of what Michael told me you said.”

“What? What did he tell you?”

Brian gets a pained look on his face and turns away, but Justin reaches out and turns his head so he faces him. “Tell me.”

“He said that you had moved on. That you didn’t want to hurt me, but it was over for you.”

Justin’s sits up, shaking his head. “No, no… That’s what he told me you said. That you said it was over for you, but you didn’t know how to tell me.”

“That’s total bullshit! I’ve never gotten over you! I never will! That’s a complete lie!”

“Brian, I never moved on… Even when I thought you didn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t let go. I just couldn’t…”

“That little bastard! I’m going to kill him!”

“He really must hate me, doesn’t he?”

“I can’t believe we both got played. He really must hate me too, because he knows I still love you. Even after all this time, he knows how I feel. Hell, he even reminded me yesterday, that I needed to let you go.”

Justin reaches over and pulls Brian down onto his chest. “Don’t let him upset you. I’m right here. I’m home. I’m home to stay. I’m never leaving you again. Remember, that was the vow I just took. I love you so much, Brian.”

“I’m still going to kill him…”

“You so love me!”

“Yes! It’s true. I do, you little twat…”

Brian pulls Justin closer. He’s angry, but he’s also happier than he’s been in years. They can’t change the past, but they do have the future. One that will be filled with love, one they’ll share together.

‘Till death do they part.’

Yes, this will be a Valentine’s Day to remember…

The End…

Lovers’ Spit…


	2. ~ Surprise! I’m Back…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael learns through his own misguided obsession, that payback’s a bitch…

Title: You So Love Me…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3177  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Angst, Love, Passion, Anti-Michael…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
Banner: Yvonnereid  
EKG-Club February Challenge – You So Love Me…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Summary: After years of separation, one phone call ends all the longing and regret of the past decade…

Chapter Summary: Michael learns through his own misguided obsession, that payback’s a bitch…

 

**You So Love Me...**

 

Chapter Two ~ Surprise! I’m Back… 

 

Justin’s POV

 

“Brian, Brian, don’t be so hot-headed.”

 

“Hot-headed?”

 

“I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.”

 

“Oh, trust me, he’ll be the one regretting his actions!”

 

“Brian, he’s your best friend. Please think this through before you say something you can’t take back.”

 

“You don’t want to be here, then go. You and Gus go shopping for the kids.”

 

Justin bursts out laughing, thinking about last night and Brian’s reaction to Boris and Natasha. 

 

Last Night at 2 am

 

Panting heavily they were just coming down from their umpteenth round of sex when Brian sat straight up in bed. He was sure someone was prowling around the house, that there was a burglar. He went right into protective mode, insisting on locking me in the bathroom while he investigated. Armed with the lamp from the nightstand, he snuck down the stairs creeping around every corner, only to come back ten minutes later with a baffled look on his face. 

 

“It must have been the wind, but I swear I heard something downstairs.”

 

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I knew exactly who was prowling around downstairs, so just as we got all snuggled down under the covers it started. I knew when he came back into the bedroom holding the lamp in his hand, with the cord bouncing on the floor behind him it would only be a matter of minutes. Boris and Natasha may have hid out of sight from the madman, but they couldn’t resist the electrical cord dangling as it was pulled across the carpet behind him.

 

His ears perk up. “Did you hear that?”

 

“Um hmm.”

 

That’s when there was a loud thud against the door. “Someone’s right outside our door!”

 

It’s all I can do to not start laughing as he just sits there staring at the door in the dark, listening quietly for any indication of someone about to open the door. 

 

“You heard that, didn’t you?”

 

I nod, knowing that he can’t see me. If it’s one thing I know, Boris and Natasha are very patient. They can wait out anyone as their interest piques, waiting for their prey’s next move. 

 

“I guess it was just my imagination.”

 

Who would have thought Brian Kinney was afraid of things that go bump in the night?

 

Still suppressing my smirk, we settle down again as he pulls me to him, running his hands through my hair. It’s subtle at first, just a slight sound of something scraping the door. He’s on high alert, sitting up in bed. The scratching gets a little louder, he stands, staring into the darkness.

 

“Maybe it’s a rat? I can’t believe the house is infested with rats?”

 

Neither can I, Boris and Natasha would have them cornered and mauled in minutes. Now the thumping and scratching are both back. I guess they’re working as a tag team now, growing impatient.

 

“Justin! Justin, it’s really trying to get in here.”

 

Finally I can’t suppress my laugh anymore, as I chuckle at him. 

 

“Maybe you should just open the door?”

 

“And let that pest in?”

 

“Well, I’m pretty sure they’re not going anywhere, and they’re very persistent when they want something.”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

He turns on the light and sees a little flash of paw under the door, and then it’s gone. His eyes get big. “Did you see that?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“It was black.”

 

He’s very observant.

 

“Yes, it was.”

 

“It’s a huge black rat.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“But you saw it?”

 

“Yes, it’s Natasha.”

 

“Natasha?”

 

There another bump against the door. At my old brownstone the wood of the doors are a little warped, so they usually open after a few times from knocking against the bottom of the door. But of course Brian has probably upgraded the doors here at Britin, nothing but the best for my man.

 

“Brian, just open the door.”

 

“You want me to open the door?”

 

“Yes. It’s Boris and Natasha.”

 

“Like the cartoon?”

 

“Yes, one and the same.”

 

“You have kids?”

 

“Yes, little furry ones with four legs.”

 

“You brought dogs into the house?”

 

“Do I look like a dog person?”

 

Not amused, he walks to the door and opens it. Natasha sashays in, black and sleek with deep blue eyes. Upon inspection she approves of her new male servant, knowing that he’ll be feeding her and catering to her every whim. She slithers between his legs, rubbing up against both of them, and then proceeds to cross the room, jumping up on the bed. I can already hear her purring. Yes, she approves of the soft and fluffy duvet and high-thread count sheets.

 

Boris, on the other hand is much more skeptical. He enters the room and sits in the doorway knowing that Brian can’t close the door with him in the way. He stares up at the new human inspecting him was curiosity he’s definitely male, he’s a Manx cat, who’s muscular with a dark gray coat and deep blue eyes. Neither him nor Brian are amused by the others presents, it’s almost a staring contest, one Boris will win, because he has unlimited patients, or maybe it’s stubbornness. 

 

“Justin? You have cats?”

 

“Yep. Don’t worry, Boris likes you.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“He’s wagging his tail.”

 

“How can you tell? It’s only four inches long.”

 

“I know he’s adorable. It feels like a corkscrew to the touch and he can only move the last inch. See how it’s kind of vibrating? He likes you.”

 

Brian glares down at him as he sits at his feet, now purring. “Justin, where have they been for the last few hours?”

 

“My guess is sleeping on all the papers on your desk, or maybe shedding all over your precious designer furniture.”

 

The look on his face is one of horror. “But why are they here?”

 

“They live here, Brian.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yep, my house, my cats.”

 

“Justin?”

 

“I couldn’t very well leave them in New York, besides they were a package deal.”

 

He acts all put out and upset, but I can tell he really likes them. He was never allowed a pet growing up, so the idea is foreign to him. But I can tell behind all his moody disposition, he likes them. Yep, my Brian radar is working just fine. I always was onto him.”

 

~~~~

 

Brian knocks on Deb’s door and enters. “I’ve left you multiple messages, Michael. Why haven’t you returned my calls?”

 

“I knew I’d see you here, and figured you could apologize to me when you arrived.”

 

“Apologize? Why the fuck would I apologize? You’re the one who owes me an apology.”

 

“For what? Making you finally see that truth.”

 

“OUT! Out back, now!”

 

“No. No way, it’s cold outside. Say whatever it is you have to say to me here.”

 

“You really want to do this in front of everyone? I know what you did, Michael!”

 

“I didn’t do anything!”

 

“Ten years, Michael! Ten fucking years! How could you? You had to know that I’d eventually find out the truth!”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

 

“I want to hurt you. I want hurt you so bad. I want beat you until you’re bruised, bloody and broken. Beat the life out of you, until you’ve taken your last breath. But I won’t, Michael! I won’t do anything! Absolutely nothing! I won’t allow you to turn me into Jack. I’ll never resort to violence as a means to justify the end.” 

 

Deb comes out from the kitchen. “What’s all this yelling about? And where’s Gus?”

 

“Gus is running some errands. He’ll be here later, and he’s bringing a friend. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Of course not. I’m glad he’s making friends. Now what is all this shouting about?”

 

“Your son’s a petty, jealous, manipulating bastard!”

 

Deb automatically smacks Michael across the back of his head.

 

“Why’d you do that, ma?”

 

“Because you’ve obviously done something stupid again.”

 

“I didn’t do anything.”

 

Michael glances around the living room and up the stairs. Ben’s still laying down, sleeping.

 

“Brian, whatever you think I did, I didn’t. I’m your best friend. I’d never do anything to hurt you.” 

 

“You are not my best friend! Not anymore!”

 

“Of course I am. Now I need to talk with you too. I need a little help with some of Ben’s medical bills.”

 

“You’re actually asking me for money? More money?”

 

“I told you, I need help. You know we don’t have much of an income these days. Now that Ben’s no longer working.”

 

“NO!”

 

“No? No, you won’t help me?”

 

“No, I won’t. I’ve been paying your way all your life. I’m done.”

 

“Brian. Please be serious.”

 

“Did you even hear me a minute ago? I’m done with you!”

 

“Stop being a drama queen!”

 

“Oh, I am done, Michael. I’m so done with you. I’ve had enough.”

 

“Oh, just get over it. Whatever it is you think I’ve done. You know you’ll forgive me. You always do.”

 

“Not this time! You’ve gone too far!”

 

“Really, Brian? Really? You’ve always taken care of me.” 

 

“Yes, I have, right from the beginning. I’ve been paying for our friendship one way or another, forever. First it was because the kids at school that made fun of you, because you were a teenager, still fascinated with comic book heroes. Then it was the older kids picking on you, and bullying you because you were gay.”

 

“They wanted to beat me up.”

 

“Yeah! Well guess what? Now I want to beat you up!”

 

“Brian! What’s this all about?”

 

“Then you always expected me to do your homework for you. I swear you never even read the chapters, or even tried to do the assignments. I always had to give you the answers for all the tests. No wonder you barely graduated from high school.”

 

“That’s a horrible thing to say to me!”

 

“Yes. It is. But it’s true.”

 

“You always made me feel guilty if I didn’t help you. You held it over my head, knowing that your house was the only refuge I had. The only place I could go when my dad was on a drunken rage. Yes, I paid for your friendship in so many ways.”

 

“That’s enough, Brian! You need to apologize to Michael.”

 

“Stay out of this, Deb!”

 

“You actually though you could shame me, and manipulate me into being your boyfriend. But when that didn’t work, you became angry and spiteful.”

 

“You love me, you just can’t show it! I know you do. That’s why you’ve never settled down with anyone. You’re still waiting for me, waiting until Ben’s gone.”

 

“No! No, I’m not! I’ve never been in love with you, and I never wanted you.”

 

Michael looks like he’s going to cry…

 

“You’re delusional, calculating and vicious.”

 

“Brian, that’s enough!”

 

“I said stay out of this!”

 

“Whatever Michael’s done, I’m sure it isn’t that bad.”

 

“You’re right, Deb, it’s worse…”

 

“He’s conniving and pure evil, but he’s also a fool if he thinks I’m ever going to let this go!”

 

“Brian, I don’t know what you think I’ve done. But you’re wrong, I would never do anything to hurt you. I know how upset you get on Valentine’s Day, but you have to let him go. He never really loved you!”

 

“He never really loved me?” 

 

“Well since you brought it up…”

 

“I was in a committed relationship, Michael! I was planning on getting married! But you couldn’t allow that to happen. Could you?”

 

“He’s the one who left you! He never even told you good bye!”

 

“Like I said, Michael. I know what you did!”

 

“I didn’t do anything. I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I’ve spend a long time thinking about this. I was up most of the night, and I think I finally have a timeline figured out. You lied to me first; it must have seemed so easy, knowing how vulnerable and lonely I was. After a lifetime of denying my need to be loved, I was finally able to admit my feelings, to admit that I loved Justin. I thought that you were my best friend. I thought that I could confide in you. I needed a best friend to help get me through my pain while I was missing him after he moved to New York. But I also thought that I had finally comes to grips with being in love, knowing that I had to let him spread his wings a little. I missed him so desperately, but I also believed that we would be together in the end.”

 

Brian shakes his head in disbelief, “But no you played me. You told me he had moved on. That he no longer loved me. That he didn’t want to hurt me! I believed you. I actually believed you. But I should have gone to New York and told him again how much I loved him, how much I needed him. But I didn’t. I withdrew. I closed my heart, wallowing in my heartbreak. Drinking myself into a stupor. Letting my feeling of not deserving to be loved resurface and consume me. And you, always the good friend. Stood by me, comforted me, let me cry on your shoulder. All the while knowing that it was all a lie. I hate you for that. I’ll never forgive you for that! NEVER!”

 

It finally occurs to Michael that Brian might have actually found out the truth about what he did. But how?

 

“Brian! If he really loved you, you two would be together.”

 

Brian looks at him in disgust. But silently smirks, knowing just how distraught Michael will be once Gus and Justin return.

 

“You must have thought it was so clever of you; knowing that once I thought Justin no longer loved me. You knew that I’d withdraw, that I’d stop returning his phone calls and emails. You knew he’d eventually call you, ask you what was going on. It was so perfect, allowing you to manipulate him into thinking I no longer loved him. Telling him that it was over for me. Telling him that I didn’t love him anymore, but I just didn’t know how to tell him.”

 

“Brian…”

 

“Why Mikey? Why couldn’t you allow me to be happy?”

 

“It wasn’t like that.”

 

Everyone in the room is speechless and shocked, as they stand there, staring at the man who has been their best friends for thirty years. Yet they know what Brian has said is true. They can see it in Michael’s eyes, and is his nervous stance. He’s fidgeting, and can’t look at anyone, least of all Brian.

 

Just then cold air rushes in from the front door, as Gus and Justin stand in the doorway. Everyone turns to look at them, wondering how much they overheard. When Michael turns to see Justin, his eyes grow large. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

“Surprise! Didn’t Brian tell you? We’ve decided to give it another try.”

 

Smiling he holds up his left hand proudly showing everyone his wedding ring. Emmett rushes forward, embracing Justin, kissing him, squealing with delight. Not only because he’s back home, but because he’s back with Brian and he knows that this time around nothing will ever split them up. Debbie’s also happy for Brian and Justin, but she’s furious with her son. It’s the first time in her life that she actually sees Michael in a new light. 

 

She always stood up for him, made excuses for him and his behavior. But now she knows she was wrong. Now the things that have happened in the past, the things she was sure he was innocent of, all flash before her mind. She doesn’t like knowing that she has been played and manipulated herself. She always blamed others for the things she now knows Michael was actually guilty of. She hates that he always let others take the blame for his mistakes. He never corrected her, he just let her assume the worst of Brian. But most of all he never accepted responsibility for his actions. He never owned up, never manned up, always playing the part of the victim. How could she have raised someone so selfish, and self-centered? She not only questions herself, but she questions everything she though she knew about Michael.

 

Debbie never thought that she’d do this, but she feels she has no other alternative.

 

“Michael. I think you should leave… If what Brian says is true, I don’t want you in my house. I can’t look at you, you’re such a disappointment to me. I’m not even sure who you are. Because the son I know and love could never do something like this, and if he did I’d have to disown him. Understand me, Michael, you’re not welcome here anymore. So please leave while I mourn the loss of my son, a son that apparently never really existed. I can’t believe I’ve been so blind all these years, so go. Please just go!”

 

“But ma, you don’t understand. None of you understand. I did it for Brian’s own good.”

 

“No! You did it for your own misguided obsession with Brian.” 

 

Michael’s eyes dart around the room, he feels like the walls are closing in on him. Everyone’s staring at him like he’s a deranged monster, and he feels like he’s slowly losing grip on reality. He turns and looks at Justin, his eyes looking more like a wild animal who might lash out if you get too close to him. Then he turns to Brian, hoping for understanding or forgiveness.

 

“You brought this all on yourself, Michael. Now you’ll have to reap what you sow.”

 

He turns and leaves the house without his winter coat. He’s so numb from today’s events, he can’t even feel the cold winter wind blowing through him. He can’t help asking himself how things could have gone so wrong.

 

Brian’s already across the room, removing Emmett’s arms from around Justin, pulling him to his embrace. He holds him close like he might vanish any moment. He buries his face in his soft blond hair. He loves the way it smells. Justin’s still using that same fruity shampoo and it seems to calm Brian. He just did the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life. Okay, maybe the second hardest thing. The first was trying to accept that Justin no longer loved him. He has been friends with Michael for so long, and it truly pains him to have to end their friendship, but he really has no other choice. What Michael did is unforgivable. How could Michael have been his friend, and treat him that way?

 

Justin looks uncomfortable as he apologizes to Deb for everything that’s happened. He can only imagine how hard this is for her, to hear the hard cold facts about Michael. She’s been living into her own bubble, always thinking he was so innocent. But now she sees him for who he is, and it’s not a pretty sight.

 

TBC…

**Author's Note:**

> Due to popular demand, I've decided to continue this story... I've changed the title to; You so Love Me... 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this new adventure as much as I will writing it...


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